Beer Mile Race Report


Race in Pieces is going on a non-running vacation tomorrow!  This is a good thing.  It’s been over a week since either of us have run, this is a good thing.  I’ve been getting some therapy for my foot/hip issues and Dan was just burnt out.  We feel rested going into our non-running related vacation, this is a good thing.  

Below is a post that’s been in my draft box since August, I guess we were busy with other stuff and never had a chance to post it.  Now that winter has set in I thought I’d share with you some of the “fun” stuff we do with our down time…..

Dan has always wanted to run a beer mile so we set up a 400m course on road at the cottage and finally made his dream come true.
Quick explanation of a beer mile; 4 laps of a 400m track, 1 beer consumed before each lap.  There are all sorts of rules pertaining to what size beer, what it’s consumed out of and what to do when people can’t hold their beer, you can click here for the full run down if you’re interested.
Nine of us rose to the challenge, 4 of us are runners, 3 play recreational sports (volleyball/baseball/boot camp), and the other 2 were my Dad and Uncle Neil, they were the grand masters.  We also had spectators and 2 judges (who were very fair).

The Beer Mile hopefuls.

At 1pm someone said go and 9 cans of beer were cracked open.  Dan was the first one out on the “track”.

Dan has finished his beer and Alex (shirtless with hat) has had maybe two sips.  Brandon (in red) had made good head way.

I watched everyone getting further away thinking that I should really practice “chugging”.  Finally I got to start my first lap, where I did manage to reel in a few competitors, but they all passed me as I struggled with my second beer.  I fully believed I was going to be sick already, but then I was able to release some gas and felt a world of good better.  Dan was already half way through his second lap when we had our first DNF, that participant is so much smarter than the rest of us.

This is only my second beer. I hadn’t lost any yet.

As I set out on my second lap I high fived Dan who had just arrived back.  I was surprised that I was able to run as well as I did with all the beer sloshing around in my tummy, but sadly before I knew it I was being handed another beer.  Sip, sip, my Dad jumps out of his chair and starts running/shuffling, I ask what lap he’s on, I’m told 3rd.  Crap, I’m being whooped by my Dad with hip trouble.

That’s my Dad in yellow. He sat down to drink each beer. I think he might be on to something.

Dan returns from lap 4 to win the mile in 10:28.  Someone comments that it was never really a fair competition, Dan is English and he likes to run.  I’m still working on my 3rd beer, I’m now hanging out with one of the other struggling competitors, Alex, we are standing very close to the bushes, but the judges keep checking in to make sure we hadn’t been sick.  Finally, after a few near misses, I’m running my 3rd lap and I managed to pass to people on my way to my final beer.

The beer mile winner, Dan.

The competitor in me is forcing me to get my last beer down, 2 others have finished and my Dad is on his way in.  Four of us are working on our beers, off goes Uncle Neil, I start trash talking Alex, hoping he’ll be sick, so he’ll have to do the extra lap (the official penalty for barfing), and suddenly my beer is empty.  I’m off, oh dear I don’t feel good, 200m turn around, just run back and you wont be last…

Uncle Neil’s finishing kick. How after 4 beers? That’s Alex still working on beer 4.

I’ll spare the nitty-gritty, but I lost my beer (there is a video of this, some of you may notice I’m wearing a GoPro, however the footage did not end up coming home with me.  That will be a special posting for another day).  I felt much better, but two people passed me while I was ejecting it.  And the other person who was behind me raised her arms in victory because she was starting out her last lap and I now had to finish this one and another.  I came in last in the beer mile in a time of 24:04.

I look disgusted here because I was, at my time, not the fact that I had just vomited up beer on the side of the road.

Thoughts and Reflections:
I nailed the running, I’m a terrible beer drinker/chugger.
Alex apparently crossed the finish line with vomit in his mouth refusing to do the extra lap, that’s dedication.

Alex struggling, we didn’t get a photo of the actual “beer release”.

My Dad and Uncle Neil have many years of beer drinking under their belts.  My Uncle Neil has been known to drink beers while standing on his head and I liked my Dad’s technique of sitting down to drink each beer.  I never stood a chance.
Don’t race against a 7 foot tall man, not only did he turn out to be a good beer drinker but his ridiculously long legs gave him an edge.

“The cheater” in the white vest, seriously how long are those legs?

Someone has already mentioned doing this again next year.  I think I will take the job of time keeper.
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4 comments on “Beer Mile Race Report

  1. Margaret deHesse says:

    Heather this looked like an absoute hoot. What a great idea. I bet my hubby Ted would sign up for this one!!

  2. Mom says:

    Glad to see the competitive spirit in everyone. What’s that famous saying ‘ The family that runs the beer mile together stays together’! Yup that’s it.
    xoxoxo

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