Shattered

So I’ve basically been a mess since the monster.  That’s not entirely true, the week following the race we were on vacation which was great. We saw more of Arizona, even did a great 12 mile hike to the plateau of the Grand Canyon (I even ran a bit!). We finished our trip up in Vegas where we shopped or laid around the pool, drank too much and probably ate too much but that’s what you do in Vegas.

Can you see that thin trail on the green plateau? That’s where we hiked to and back.

And then we got home.  And the post race blues set in. I’m really trying to be positive about how the race went and I really did have a fantastic time but one thing still remains….I didn’t finish.  And that sucks. I know not many finished but it doesn’t make me feel any better, in fact I ran with 3 of the finishers at different points so why couldn’t  I keep it together and finish too?

My body feels beaten and everyday I rest it seems to get worse. My foot injury from earlier this year seems to have resurfaced and I can’t be bothered to go see my physiotherapist because it always feels better by then. My feet are still a mess of blisters and healing skin.  I refuse to commit to anything running related and I’m downright miserable.  Every time someone tells me how proud I should be or what a good job I did I feel even more like I failed because these people believed in me.

I guess I haven’t been much fun to be around because Dan (whose belt buckle I’m so jealous of) has signed me up for a half marathon in November that he is also running except he’s excited about it (the medal has a plane on it and we are medal hoarders).  So I guess I have that to look forward to which according to some google searches is a good start to beating post race failure blues.

Dan had fun running down the Canyon

Today was the first day I ran since the monster. A measly 3km and it hurt and was slow and I just wanted it to be over.  But when it was I was glad I did it (or more accurately that Dan dragged my sorry butt out). I don’t feel too bad right now, even considering making an appointment to have my foot looked at (or maybe a massage).

I can tell I’m still a little surly but maybe that’s a bit of some post vacation blues too and the fact that I have some extremely frustrating people in my life and I’m letting them get to me. Whether I feel like it or not I think it’s time pick up the pieces and get back at it.

I want to feel like this again.

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4 comments on “Shattered

  1. Mom says:

    “If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick up one of those pieces and begin again”.

    Thinking of you with love.
    Mom and Dad xoxoxo

  2. klloyd05 says:

    Heather, you did an awesome job at this race. Hardly anyone would consider attempting it! Not only did you do it, but you got much further than a lot of other more experienced runners. Try to look at it for what you achieved, rather than for what you missed out on. And don’t be afraid to give yourself a break (and several massages) to recover.

  3. Ann & Gaz says:

    What a lovely comment from your mom and dad , we toally agree with the sentiments , you are the most focused, toughest lady we know, just remember, how you feel today is natural and you should be feeling shattered but you will bounce back – in fact sounds like you are already ! love you loads xxxxx

  4. Gary McGugan says:

    Certainly can’t speak from a runner’s perspective; but can assure you that jet-lag can contribute to your current outlook. Even 3 hours difference, especially when you have a lot of other stuff going on, can have a big impact. I expect that within days you will be running, feeling the rush of endorphins, and looking forward to your next big challenge!

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